Day 15

Apparently everyone everywhere either has cancer, has had cancer, or knows someone who has it (or has had it). This is because everything gives you cancer, apparently. Daily Mail research proves this as a fact (so it must be true).

 For anyone remotely intelligent, this is of course total tosh. Why people read this foul rag (for any reason other than study of S.2 Mental Health Act 1983) is a mystery.

Blog stats reveal a surprise readership of this column in the Caribbean. OK, perhaps not quite such a surprise, as my old mum is currently in Barbados. Here she is (second from right) going for her morning septuagenarian stroll with some like-minded ladies; a la Slimcea commercial from the 1970’s (minus the hot air balloon).

Treatment schedule letter arrives from the hospital; need to pitch up on Friday for pre-assessment, as cycle 2 begins next Tuesday. Ward 61 beckons; the click-click-click of chemo pump starts to add percussion to the omnipresent tinnitus…….

Memo to self: remember to pack earplugs and a mini screwdriver (fuse-removing variety, for the machine that goes ping)