Day 1

Phone call 8pm yesterday evening: ‘we have a bed – can you get here now?’ Mild panic ensues – review options… er, yes, but… (might not get a bed if this ‘opportunity’ not taken now). Resolve to take opportunity now. Arrive 9pm, allocated ‘Bed 28’; this is a 4-man billet, in a ward that must have, er, at least another 27 beds dotted about somewhere. Seem to be the youngest here (by a large margin). Bed 25 (opposite) complains that he has been stuck here for 6 months. In goes the cannula; everything else from BP to blood is checked. Bed 26 arrives in the small hours, on oxygen and a machine that goes ‘ping’ (a lot). What with the coughing, groaning, snoring, moaning, machines that go ‘peep’, ‘whirr’ and ‘ping’, sleep is a total impossibility. Doze off around 6.30am, just as everybody else is waking up.

Breakfast is served; a classic 1974 Little Chef effort. More blood tests, more forms to sign. Watch some films on laptop. Lunch arrives – plat du jour from The Winchester (Minder, not Sean of the Dead). Go in search of Hospital wifi - yes it does exist, but not in the room; must go and use top of water fountain in corridor as makeshift workstation, as it's the best signal....

Told that IV will commence at 3pm – they’re cooking the cocktails right now. 6/7 hour initial dose with saline breaks. Bring it on – the waiting about is the worst bit (apart from the machine that goes ‘ping’, which is currently serving an empty bed… and about to lose something like a fuse?)