Day 41

Maargrit?  Maargrit! Which way is it? Oh dear, SatNav broken, so a few technical difficulties of an orienteering nature + defeated by technology issues resulted in Maargrit and Rupert Bear going from A to B via Z yesterday, but they eventually made it here for lunch….

In search of Maargrit …..

Tor says nobody else will know who Maargrit and Rupert Bear really are (or the reason for their pseudonyms) but if you're reading this in India or China (or pretty much everywhere else), don't worry; just chalk it down to eccentric British humour, and you'll be OK.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IezhDprjq4

So this weekend is supposed to be the best I'll feel for some time, as it's the last few days of the rest before the 3rd cycle begins on Tuesday. At least the sun's out, although already there's a problem, as Ward 61 lacks a sun terrace (come to think of it, a bar and a swimming pool as well). 

Ward 61 pool terrace….. not

Hmm, you can't have everything I suppose. At least Tor has OK'd a barbecue today, (although steak, sausages, etc are all banned - obviously). Hunter-gatherer skills will therefore have to be honed on a few bits of chicken (with Liv complaining that this means burnt offerings, for sure……..)

Day 40

So, a well-known personality is reputed to have done 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness, being given a hard time by dark forces; ….. I guess I know how he must have felt………

Not that 40 days and nights!

That's better…..

Of course this illustrates the dangers of the web - you might get back more than you bargained for. Like don't put 'pearl necklace' into a search engine; you will not like what comes back (Granny - don't you dare!)

So I'm in the doghouse over the whole steak-and-red-wine thing the other night. Tor says I'm on 'fish only' (which is 'good') and not red meat (which is 'bad'). So I've been despatched to the farm shop for fish and bread, as we have guests for lunch. The whole loaves-and-fishes thing seems strangely familiar…. can't think why though; must be the cisplatin?

Day 39

Bit late posting today as it's pre-assessment day and JB is taking the lead - guess Axel's off on another gig. So, 3rd cycle begins on Tuesday, and JB is concerned about the tinnitus (which is getting worse). 

Options are discussed - JB is looking for a 5-day stint, but regular readers will know my view that six of the best now beats drawn-out detentions anytime. Trying to do 3 every other days as an outpatient is too difficult logistically, so we agree a 3-day stint next week on cisplatin, but 4th cycle on carboplatin (to reduce damage to ear nerve endings):

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/treatment/cancer-drugs/carboplatin

Aspirin discussed and JB will consider the anti-inflammatory effects and advise of suggested dosage. Rash on head is cisplatin, so just keep slapping on the aqueous. Steriods are for anti sickness, but will make you crabby (see, Tor? - there is a medical explanation!) Domperidone is thought to be causing nausea, so another drug will be tried. Blood platelets at the lower end of acceptable (so good job that steak and red wine was unlawfully consumed last night in Tor's absence).

In other news, has anyone ever tried to get insurance for 17-year old twins that doesn't cost over £5,000? Initial quotes are horrendous - a specialist broker will have to be consulted. Believe it or not, one broker (who pleaded not to be named) did not mince his words, summing up the the task ahead with: "you poor bastard, you'd better have deep pockets". He then advised to drive without insurance, as it's only a £200 fine and 6 points if you get busted.  Hmmmm……..

maybe not, then……………….

Day 38

Tor says that being an Old Stoic makes you a bit more, er, stoic than most. Once you have experienced non-maintained 1970's education of this genre, nothing much can really dent you later in life, is the theory I suppose.

Malabo Prison

Remember Simon Mann's little 2004 Equatorial Guinea excursion? - well, it appears that a stint at Eton similarly prepared him for the slammer in Malabo. So yes, there is an element of stiff upper lip/keep calm and carry on regarding chemotherapy treatment that perhaps makes this blog a tad more palatable than most, but I guess it's down to positive mental attitude coupled with a sense of humour.

I mean, what's the alternative? Look at the touchy-feely CBT-based approach below:

Some time was spent cross-referencing the dramatis personae with the listed moods, I can tell you. The bloke top right is what - grumpy? (not on list) - so how about angry? The chap beneath him looks depressed. The lady next to him is probably anxious, whilst the fourth of our quartet is possibly afraid. So where are lonely, frustrated and helpless? Maybe I've got it all wrong, but why does the whole range of feelings have to be so negative? For sure chemotherapy is the pits, but as the alternative appears to be death, then on the least worst outcome strategic analysis, what's not to like about giving it a go?(once at least, anyway). 

'Him', again

You see, a lot of people never get the opportunity to dodge the bullet - take the 239 currently missing in the South China Sea, for instance. That could happen to any one of us, yet the Grim Reaper has spent an inordinate amount of time huffing and puffing and generally giving me a 'heads-up' that he's stamping around the neighbourhood - thus giving me time to do something about it. 

So that's my deal with Axel - either he will cure me, or he will write me the letter saying I won't survive, which will force my life insurers to cough up, in time for me to do a few things with my family on the 'to do' list. Hell, I might even get the letter and survive. One thing's for sure: I don't know how much time I've got left - but there again, none of us does. No good moaning about it; do what it says on the poster is my advice:

Day 37

Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed that an on-demand translation feature has been added to this blog (top right, Granny). This is because Google audience stats reveal we have a surprise readership in India (due to overtake the US in er, just about everything else anyway) as well as China (which already has). 

Doubt this has much to do with the liberal dispensation of witty banter; perhaps more to do with the incisive comment on chemotherapy treatment, side-effects, options etc? (although the catchy title clearly appeals to search engines as well). Who knows, we may see the other BRICs joining in fairly soon as language is no longer a barrier, comrade.

Due consideration has therefore been given to re-naming this blog 'International Chemotherapy Chronicles'  but already there's a problem, as the acronym has already been taken in sport, law and business (and just about everything else, apparently):

Hmm, maybe just thinking far too small here? How about Intergalactic Chemotherapy Chronicles? Add a catchy Star-Trek type logo, and who knows, it could be a surprise hit in the Gamma Quadrant. On this basis, pre-IPO due diligence currently underway. Free shares to be given to all who have viewed this blog, so pass the word around………..

Day 36

A week to go before the third cycle. Remember that ‘Sunday night’ pre-school feeling when you were a kid? Well, it comes back in situations like this when you’re a grown-up, I can tell you.

Remember the dark sarcasm in the classroom?

It’s pre-assessment day on Friday, so Axel will be quizzed about some research Tor has dug up on reducing cisplatin’s unwanted side-effects:

http://athens.patch.com/groups/university-of-georgia/p/cisplatin-side-effects-blunted-when-combined-with-aspirin

As they say, cisplatin is an effective drug, but it often causes severe and irreversible damage to a patient’s kidneys, hearing and sense of balance. Thanks for that. The form I signed said something a tad less blunt and entirely more palatable, like it ‘may’ cause a minor bit of something-not-to-worry-about-too-much, not that it probably will cause it. Still, the aspirin thing needs a run-through with Axel on Friday, and it ‘aint exactly a new untried thing like the Vit C jabs, as it’s been around for over 10 years now:

http://www.thelancet.com/pdfs/journals/lanonc/PIIS1470204502008021.pdf

But every cloud has a silver lining – kidneys apart, at least I will have a decent excuse for not paying attention to any spousal repetitive encouragement, and Liv and Ed can rest assured that 18^th/21^sts will not be spoilt by dad’s dodgy disco dancing (or at least there will be a medical excuse for it)

Day 35 (featuring the Monday Mugshot)

More cancer news today, his time from the Beeb:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26472225

Actually, this is not news. Our non-resident (well, admittedly he doesn’t see it that way) Norfolk Terrier (Tommy the ‘technology’ terrier) clocked me as having cancer last November. How? Well, Tommy turns up when he feels like it to chew the fat with the Dachshunds. Tommy is well informed, embracing new technology (iPads, iPhones and laptops) - which usually manifests itself as an uncontrolled lunge towards anything with an LCD screen (so I guess he’s already up to speed on the Beeb’s article).

Having previously shown absolutely no interest in ‘licking’, Tommy suddenly developed an obsession with licking my hands and feet. I guess he could detect something different. This is not surprising, as a dog’s sense of smell is 60 times that of a person, and gets my vote as an accurate and low-cost mass screening method anytime.

In other news, Liv and Ed have been putting Brian through his paces, in preparation for provisional licence arrival next month.

Recycling bins make excellent (and safe) dummy cars for parking practice. Liv’s currently heading the leaderboard, but as men are better drivers than women*, it won’t be long before he gets the hang of it…….

With all this controversial excitement, nearly forgot the Monday Mugshot:

*Memo to Tor: Oh yes they are! – who had to reverse out of Broughtons’ car park last Thursday?

Day 34

PICC line flushed and redressed today. You wouldn’t believe the hassle with getting this done at a GP surgery – apparently there are so many derivatives, no-one carries (or can guess) which one you have, as there is no general standard.

Mine’s a Power PICC Solo2 catheter. Can the District Nurse do the necessary? Er, yes, as long as I get all the ‘bits’. Did the hospital send me out with any spare parts (bungs, saline, dressings, syringes, needles etc?) Er, no. Pharmacy next to GP Surgery managed to get in some saline, but the dressing (IV-3000) was beyond them (despite 2 visits to show them the one in situ).

Charles’ Angels to the rescue.... again

In the end one of Charles’ Angels was convinced to post one out from the hospital, but not after a minor lecture on whose ‘budget’ this should come from. So the hospital says it’s the GP surgery. The District Nurse (major lecture) says it’s the hospital. The Pharmacy can’t source the right dressing, even if the GP can be convinced to write a prescription, but then you need the hypodermics and syringes, which you can’t get without a full health & safety and psychological assessment. Aaarrgghhh!

Day 33

Cancer is bloody everywhere you look. 

Today's news from the world of tennis is just all too familiar: 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/tennis/26488401

Liv's tennis pal Emily's dad is currently fighting prostate. I'm on court against mixed germ cell. What the hell is going on? Maybe you're just sensitised to it - the news is always out there; maybe you just notice it more, the closer it gets to home.

More ammo for Tor & Liv's Tennis Food Police drive from Medical News Today:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/273672.php

Forget the steak 'n chips for lunch, then

So, orders are received to take Brian out of barracks on a pescatorian sortie. Ed's home on exeat, so this means something large and spineless will be required. Hmm, Cameron Fish it is then…..

Day 32

Regular viewers will remember the customer service fiasco presided over by SSE, who were previously named and shamed on this blog for their appalling customer interaction ability (the jury's still out on whether this goes to to Ombudsman - we will have to wait and see).

Hot on the heels of SSE's dog's breakfast of a customer service provision, today's contender is Oliver from Oracle Finance, whose unsolicited marketing call yesterday went something like this:

Oliver: "Hi Charles, how are you feeling today?"

Me: "Well, not so good actually, Oliver"

Oliver:  "Oh, what's the problem then?"

Me: "Well, I have cancer and am currently having chemotherapy"

Oliver: "Whoa!, I was only calling about business"

Me: "Then why are you asking after my health? - particularly when you are clearly not ready for the answer?"

Oliver: "Well, we are supposed to ask customers how they are"

Me: "One; I'm not a customer of yours, Two; if you are making a business call, don't pretend to be interested in my health (which you clearly weren't anyway), Three; What does your customer service manual tell you to say next?"

Oliver: "Er, umm, er, ………umm………"

To my mind this illustrates what's wrong with this country. The 'customer service' gurus think it's clever to ask after a total stranger's health, but are clearly expecting nothing other than a 'fine, well' type answer. 

Tor was in a well-known supermarket yesterday and the 'customer service operative' asked her how her day was going. Are they really ready for the truth here? I mean, it's perfectly possible to offer good customer service without using potentially dangerous health questions as a marketing/customer retention tool. 

It's not just people with a critical/terminal illness the marketeers have to worry about. I mean, The Mental Health Foundation states that 1 in 4 people will have some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year:

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-statistics/

You would have thought that all of this would suggest that asking marketing/customer service health related questions to total strangers is a no-no, but until they can get Jim Henson out of the marketing department, I guess we're going to be seeing a lot more of the same…..

Memo to Tor: Hmm,……...maybe he was actually just trying to chat you up?